It is strange thing to think that Jack and I have been together for almost 8 years. We have been a couple for almost a decade. That's a long time! Not to get all mushy or anything, but I would not have had it any other way and I can't wait to be with him for another 8, 10, 30, 100 years. That being said, I love hearing stories about single people and their dating lives. The stories about the strange dates are the best. It makes me even more thankful that I am not in the dating world.
My Venezuelan friend, Osward, is staying with us for the week while he looks for an apartment in Berlin. I met him from my German classes, and he is one of the most outgoing and happy people that I have ever met. He is also single, ready to mingle, and open to talking about it, which is great for me, because I love gossip and dating stories. While I was babysitting last night, Osward went on a date with a guy who lives right down the street from us. This morning, over a cup of coffee and breakfast on the couch, Osward talked about his date. What he shared with me was worthy of a blog post, and with his permission, I will explain to you what he told me.
According to Osward, German men are all the same...mechanical, robotical, and orderly. Last night, the man whose name Osward has since forgotten, cooked Schnitzel and Spargel for him. This man, we will call him Bob, was not Osward's type; he had old man features that were not attractive, but not being a man to pass up a cooked meal, Osward stayed and tried to see if this relationship would go anywhere. Osward is a Latino; a passionate man who lives in the moment. Bob was/is not. For the first 40 minutes of their date, Bob cooked in silence while Osward sat at the table, trying to make conversation. Bob was precise in his chopping, mixing, and food presenting skills. He set the table with silverware in their precise places. He cut and ate his food in a way that seemed like he was a gentleman from the 1700s. Osward, not knowing how to respond, tried making conversation about whatever popped into his head, but would be given a quick answer in return. It was very awkward. After dinner, it was time to clean the dishes, and then time for white wine, followed by red wine. After red wine, it was time to go out for ice cream, but Osward did not want ice cream. This took Bob by surprise, and it was as if the floor was taken out from under him. Expecting to go out for ice cream, Bob did not know how to deal with this change in plans. Osward explained that Bob seemed like a robot malfunctioning, and immediately asked Osward to go.
Strange as this story may seem, Osward says that this is typical of German men. They have a time or a plan for everything. There a time to cook, a time to eat, a time to drink white wine, a time to drink red wine, a time for conversation, a time for ice cream, a time for romance, etc... These times are not to be mixed with others, and when they are, German men shut down, like a robot, and do not turn back on. Osward has met many great German men, but at some point in the relationship, their robot button always turns off because something does not go according to their plan. Why then, does Osward keep dating German men when they are so robotic? "They're hot!" was his answer. Hopefully, he will find a man with real features instead of mechanical ones.
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