Die Lebensmittel= grocery stores
One of my favorite things to do in America was go grocery shopping. Every Saturday after my spinning class, I would hit the Asian grocery store (GrandMart) and Shoppers. GrandMart was fun because I never knew what kind of produce/fish I was going to find, and Shoppers was fun because I would see new products and think of what concoctions I could make that week.
One of my least favorite things to do in Deutschland is go grocery shopping. It is one of the biggest pains, but because our fridge is the equivalent of a mini-fridge, I have to do it at least 3x/week. Let me start by saying that the groceries here are amazing. The produce is wonderfully fresh and the groceries are über cheap. However, the rest of the experience is not fun. For one, I need to always remember to bring either a 50 cent piece or a euro coin for the cart pfand. Kind of like American luggage carts in airports, I have to insert money to get a cart. Yes, I get the money back, but it's surprising how many times I am without a 50 cent piece or euro coin. That means that I have to lug everything in a grocery basket, and sparkling water bottles, potatoes, and apples get very heavy!
Ok, so pretend that I actually remembered my coins for the cart pfand. I have a cart, and I'm filling it up with my sparkling water, potatoes, and apples. Now, I am dodging the massive crowds of people all hanging around the freshly baked bread counter, because let's face it, warm, freshly baked bread is awesome. The trouble with dodging people is that the carts have minds of their own. I'm not kidding. I turn right, but it turns left, and then it swings from side to side. The floors seem to have to traction, so I have no footing to get a good handle on the cart. Before I know it, I bump into someone.
After getting a good grip on the cart, I steer to the cereal/baked goods/pasta/condiments aisle to grab some oats. Wait a minute...there are none... Why is it that whenever I go to the grocery store, the items actually on my list are not stocked, but wine, candy, and cookies are abundant and on sale? I don't need 5 more bars of Ritter Sport, but somehow, they end up in my (for now) controllable cart.
Ok, now I am ready to pay. Which of the 2/8 open cash registers has the shortest line? It's hard to tell. Both lines are long and rope down the aisles, and I just realized that 2 of the eggs in the carton broke. I discretely put them on the nearest shelf because I don't feel like getting out and losing my spot in line.
I finally get to the front of the line. In Germany, cashiers do not bag anything for you. Instead, they swipe the items so quickly, that before you know it, all of your groceries are at the end of the conveyor belt and you have to work at the speed of light to put the items back in your cart. After I put the groceries in the cart, I head to the bagging table by the exit, and bag everything in my reusable bags.
My groceries are in bags, and I have evenly distributed the weight of the 5 or 6 bags over my shoulders to prevent injury. Now, I return the cart to get my pfand back, and begin the short walk home. However, having a very small bladder, I now have to go to the bathroom. I have 5 or 6 heavy grocery bags on my arms, so I try to walk as fast as possible for the 5 minute walk home, which includes just under 50 steps. I open the door, drop all of the bags in the entryway, bruising everything I bought, and go to the bathroom. After washing my hands, I put everything away, and take a look at my list. Crap...I still need the oats and eggs for tonight's dinner. Screw it. We'll go out...
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